As we continue our in-depth look at our propensity to worry and how to address it, we’ll be spending three weeks addressing the art of reframing – our human-natured approach to reframing and then God’s design for handling reframing worry in this world.
To begin, we’re going to take a look at some of our “brilliant” human attempts to reframe our worry into something positive and productive. And, yes, I’m guilty of creating my own versions! Perhaps we share some of the same tendencies. These tendencies fall into two general categories, one of solving the worry dilemma by imposing rules, control, or certainty where there really isn’t any, and one of using language devices to escape the worry.
Let’s start with our attempts to impose rules, control, or certainty where there isn’t any. Do you remember the MASH game? When I was in grade school, it was a popular game to grab a notebook and make a sheet that said MASH at the top (M for mansion, A for apartment, S for shack, and H for house). Then you’d list all the boys in your immediate social circle, cars you might drive, cities you might live in, jobs you might have, etc. When your lists are just right, you pick a number from 1-9, and then start crossing of whichever list item you land on when you hit that number. In the end, you’re left with one item in each category and – poof – your future life is revealed. The current game, I’m told by two reliable tween sources, is to pick a page number in a book and look at the first noun, verb, etc. to fill in the details of your future life story.
Do we stop those childish games as we age? I wish the answer was yes. I wish we somehow matured into trusting God’s plan without question. No, we still struggle, and we still invent ways to fill in missing pieces of information in our lives when we worry. Have you ever consulted your horoscope? Talked with a psychic? Again, we’re trying to reduce uncertainty and learn about the future before we get there.
Recently, I was talking with a good friend from high school about a Bible study she was attending. Someone had mentioned the following thought during their discussions: “If only we had a crystal ball . . . Then we’d know what was coming and be able to prepare for it and handle it better.” Worst. Idea. Ever. No offense to whoever uttered those words, but if you had told me in high school what I would face in my adult life, I would have said outright, “I’m done. I’m out! There’s no way I could handle that. I don’t want to.” It’s pure fear and risk aversion talking. It anticipates the negative and pays no attention to life’s joys. As Garth Brooks so beautifully said in “The Dance”:
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end
The way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance.
That’s right, Garth. So, I leave you today with one reflection question as homework: Are you worried or fearful of uncertainty in your life, and the resulting inaction might keep you from the dance?
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