If you were part of the worry-fest last week, which categories of worry struck you the most? Weight, health, or appearance? Job success or finances? Family or relationships? All of them? First of all, you’re not alone if these worries tank your sleep from time to time. But second of all, focusing on these issues as the source of our worry is unsatisfying – it doesn’t get deep enough to address the root of our concerns.
So, let’s get deep. Let’s go to the darker places for a bit, knowing we’ll climb back out very soon. The first earthy layer of our descent is uncertainty. In our opening blog of this series, I walked you briefly through Uncertainty Reduction Theory (URT), which, to review, says that because we are sense-making creatures who long to be comfortable and satisfied, we don’t rest well socially, psychologically, or even physically until we’ve had our questions answered, our concerns addressed, and our fears minimized. Can you relate to this theory in your life? Do you see yourself as a sense-making creature?
You’ll notice that uncertainty is just the first layer, so it can’t be that bad, right? Yes and no. Uncertainty is guaranteed on a daily basis. We should be able to confront uncertainty with relaxed vibes, knowing that we’ve faced uncertainty in the past and have come out okay on the other side. Hmmm, if only uncertainty set a precedent for how it showed up in our lives . . . except then it wouldn’t be uncertain. Certain uncertainty? Wrestle with that one for a while.
Uncertainty takes on a more negative shadow when it trickles slowly beyond its definitional boundary into the realm of control. One of the deepest reasons we worry is because we crave control. We want the world (and God) to operate according to our desires, our timetable, and our beliefs about how the future should look. If you’re a planner like me, the whole purpose of a good plan is to take control of an uncertain future event and color in all the blank spaces with certainty and detail. Ah, how satisfying! Except, once again, no plan is guaranteed. And, outside of circumstances where we can leverage good planning skills, a lack of control can leave us feeling helpless and, eventually, overwhelmed.
Overwhelm is the direct result of our lack of control running freely throughout our thoughts, nerves, and physical tension. Have you felt the progression? Each element – uncertainty, control, and overwhelm – is like a gear connecting to the next element. Increase the spin of uncertainty, and you spin the larger gear that feels out of control, and the result is even greater overwhelm.
To go one more level deeper, we tend to filter our greatest concerns in life – facing grief and loss, defining our identities, and discovering our purposes on this earth – through these lenses of uncertainty, control, and overwhelm. Yes, that is pretty deep. And you probably hate it there. How do we climb back out?
As we continue our series next week, we’ll explore the art of reframing. We’ll revisit our biblical instructions about fear and worry and how our positive impact on the world is affected by the forces of worry. The world needs you, so it’s time to stop letting your worries get in your way!
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